I don’t know what the hell is going on anymore. I’m about one media story or a bit of bad news away from walking into the sea with a handful of edibles and a bottle of whiskey, where, ideally, I’ll be immediately swallowed by a whale. Sometimes after reading a thing even more disturbing than the last deranged thing I read about, I’ve considered faking my death and moving to a cave to ride out the final days of Earth. Not a solid plan, however, since I don’t eat meat and, to sustain my solo cave-life, would be forced to forage for berries that would no doubt cause me to diarrhea…