the incurable dreamer

my dreams are my disease, chasing them my only option

Category: anxiety

the twinkle of possibility

For those who don’t know, I have been pet sitting for almost a year and a half.  The point of this whole pet sitting gig was to save money for my wanderlust dream.  Okay, wait.  Did I say dream?  It’s not only a dream.  It, in fact, is vital to my soul and is the difference between life and death.  I don’t just dream it; I need it.

The problem with pet sitting, though, is that I frequently move from house to house, so I am continually packing my shit in and out of my car.  It’s exhausting.  Also, my introvert-self is increasingly becoming overwhelmed by all of the text messages, emails and phone calls, and all I want to do is creep into a cabbage patch and hide until everyone goes away or leaves me alone – behaviour so not conducive to this type of living.  And also slightly problematic because I don’t know anyone who grows that much cabbage.

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un-shaggable but hopeful

So, 2017 was a mixed bag for me.  Appropriately, I spent the last month of it hiding away in the shadows.  My situation was dire.  I mean, when I cried ordering a coffee from my barista at 5 am for the third day in a row, I acknowledged that there was considerable room for improvement in ‘dealing’ and that a ban was forthcoming if I didn’t stop making coffee super weird.  Yeah, I have been a bit of an undisciplined dumpster fire of emotions lately.  And the lit celebration this holiday season only seemed to amplify the palpable ache in my heart – one unyielding even to the strongest of wills – and it sunk me to familiar depths and rendered me defenseless to unrelenting despair.

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i’m sorry, i’m sorry

Hi, guys.  I wrote a new blog post. Thought maybe you might want to read it.  But don’t feel like you have to, I mean unless you really want to?  I don’t know if you do or don’t, but if you don’t, it’s so not a big deal.  If you do read it, not assuming you will in any way, I do hope you like it.  If you don’t like it, totally cool with that too, I don’t really expect anyone to like it.  So, no worries at all!!  And, of course, that’s assuming you want to read it and do.  Like I said, no biggie either way.  Anyway, I am really sorry for bothering you.

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