the incurable dreamer

my dreams are my disease, chasing them my only option

my surgeon thinks i’m a whore

So, yesterday I had a follow-up appointment with my surgeon, and I am pretty sure he thinks I’m a whore.  I know.  I’m as baffled as you are.  I mean I couldn’t whore my way out of a paper bag.  No seriously, I would fucking die in that bag.

While laying on my back with my feet securely placed in the stirrups, I told him how fabulous I feel compared to two months ago and was thanking him endlessly for giving me my life back.  We were just chatting like a couple of old pals while he was doing his thing down there, and nothing was weird or awkward about it at all.  But then I told him about the two issues I am having, and shit got real weird.

He said that he could see that one of my internal incisions is not healing as well as it should be, so that is why I am experiencing pain.  Then without warning, he stopped what he was doing, looked me square in the eyes and said all mad, ‘You are NOT ready for intercourse.’

Me:

Then, with the same level of aggression he said, ‘If you have intercourse, you are going to blow that thing wide open. NO INTERCOURSE!’

I knew he most certainly wasn’t talking about my vagina exploding, but it was all still very dramatic.  And, although this information would have been extremely beneficial to most women, it was of no importance to me.  I did, however, appreciate him sharing his thoughts because he only had my best interest at heart, so I went right along with the very serious head nodding and with conviction, promised him I wouldn’t shag anyone anytime soon.

We then began discussing the things I can do. He told me I could start light exercise and work out, but only if I take it easy.  And he went over a few other things, but he was kind of vague, and I was worried about my vagina exploding, so I asked, ‘Are there things I should avoid?’  And without even pausing he said, ‘Intercourse.’

Me to myself: ‘DUDE.  We have already established that.  And for the love of all that is holy, PLEASE. STOP. SAYING. INTERCOURSE.  Christ almighty.  Should I just tell him?’

Me: ‘Well, I was thinking more along the lines of lifting and daily activities like that.’

Him: ‘Oh, ok. No heavy lifting at all, you have to be very careful. You can’t overdo it.’

As he sat there telling me all the other things to avoid, I was barely paying attention. Why was he so adamant about telling me not to do sex, I wondered.  I mean, he said it to me like he had a genuine fear I was going spend my lunch break banging Carl from Accounting. What on earth does he see in me?  ME?  I have been intercoursed for a total of 4 1/2 minutes in my entire life, give or take a minute or two.  I can’t be sure because I was always too busy laying there thinking about the cheese toast I was going to eat later that night to help soothe my aching soul.  Oh, there were also ‘attempted intercoursing’s’ but my girl runs a tight ship down there, and access wasn’t always granted despite the best efforts of both consensual parties.  And all of this took place over a four-month span when I was on a mission to feel normal, back in 19-FUCKING-89.  So, I knew my vagina wasn’t giving off a way-too-much-intercourse vibe.

When I finally started paying attention to him again, he was getting up and preparing to leave the room.  He handed me a prescription and asked that I come back in a month for another follow-up.  Then, because he clearly wasn’t confident the horror of the word intercourse had been seared into my memory quite enough, he said, ‘NO INTERCOURSE.’ He said it so sternly, I felt like a hooker whose rent was past due, and that his sole mission was to ensure I was homeless by the end of the week.

Me to myself:  ‘THAT’S. IT.  I have to tell him. But Tanya, you will probably embarrass him, and remember how weird the nurse started acting in the hospital when you told her you weren’t really into pork and beans? Just deal with it.’

So, once again I pledged my allegiance to abstinence and watched him walk out the door looking completely content with my looming homelessness.

As I walked back to my office, I replayed the visit over and over again in my mind.  The word intercourse would have been disturbing for anyone to hear four times in a 15-minute span, but the fact that the word was so irrelevant to me, made the whole scene utterly ridiculous.  He didn’t know though, and that was my fault.  He was just doing what he would have done for any other woman – begging me to stay the course and refrain from quenching my insatiable thirst for a big one.  After seven weeks, his assumption was that I wanted nothing more than to jump back on the bike and go for a ride, so I suppose he was only trying to save me from myself.

What I realized is that I should have just been honest, and I was questioning why I hadn’t been.  It’s not like I am ashamed.  I am absolutely not, in any way.  But the fact is, I like girls, and he deserved to know.  He wouldn’t have cared either way; I know that.  And it would have prevented an unnecessary conversation and allowed us more time to talk about things like peach schnapps and the meaning of life.

Hiding from who you are is not something I support, so I was slightly disappointed with my lack of honesty yesterday.  Each of us brings something remarkable to the table, and our individuality deserves celebration. I am proud of who I am, and my hope is that you too are proud and will boldly move forward, not only owning but loving who you are.  If someone doesn’t like you or appreciate you, move on.  Find people who do.  They are out there.  I promise.

So, fuelled by my own words, in a month, when my surgeon gives me the green-light to go hog wild at lunch with Carl’s pork and beans, I will proudly declare that I would much prefer to spend my lunch hour with Sally from Purchasing, and her homemade pie.

Love is love, people.

xo

If you want to learn more about my opinion on this subject, check out my post i am a girl, and i like girls.

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71 Comments

  1. I had a hysterectomy literally WEEKS before getting married. It seemed like forever before we were able to have “intercourse.” And at such an inconvenient time! I remember coming back from a Drs appointment, and my husband saying, “Can we finally stop having sex like lesbians?”

    • the incurable dreamer

      YOU ARE HILARIOUS!! I just totally laughed out loud. And, I can’t believe you had a hysterectomy weeks before getting married. WTH?? So much for consummating your union with some intercourse. Ha! Thanks for the laugh!

  2. ohhh, I have so many questions. And I kind of want to punch your doctor in the face. WTF?! Now granted, he would have been right on par had he been talking to me, but regardless, perhaps attempting to engage in a two-way conversation, like ask a question and provide you an opportunity to respond, might have been good form. Clearly the dynamic of him being a man was a factor (I’m assuming here), and it’s clear his main concern was for you health and recovery, but for god’s sake!!!
    I am admittedly in awe and so curious and will most assuredly probe you with inappropriate questions (god…terrible ‘no pun intended’ moment), but Tanya, this, THIS, once again. I was there. I was you, I was embarrassed and paralyzed and furious and ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME, all at the same time.
    Because that is what you do. You write…and do it brilliantly.

    • the incurable dreamer

      Probe away, Brooke! hahaha. All my friends do, so please feel free to join in. And yeah, the assumption that I was waiting with bated breath to get the okay to start boinking was so shocking. Like, he told me once, and that was plenty, but to keep carrying on about it was absurd. I didn’t feel I looked desperate for servicing or anything, so I really don’t understand what generated his assumption that I wanted to get right to it. UNREAL!! And, Brooke, thanks as always, for your incredibly sweet and supportive words. You are amazing and just get it, and I appreciate you more than you know. You make me happy and seeing you here always brings a huge smile to my face. I still can’t believe what happened earlier, but I am so glad that just when you needed them, my words were there for you. xo

  3. Anonymous

    Wow with a title like that how could someone not stop what they are doing and read it!

    • the incurable dreamer

      Yeah, it was kind of a reach out and grab ya, kind of title! 🙂

  4. I have a suspicion you aren’t telling the whole story. I just have this scene playing out in my head where during your appointment a bunch of shirtless male nurses are coming in interrupting the doctor’s speech. You’re trying to pay attention but you end up looking lustfully after their “syringes” and your doctor is like ” Jesus Tanya What did I just say! NO INTERCOURSE!” and you’re like “oh, right, sorry, yes, no intercourse” and then you pull a dildo out of your purse and he’s like “NO INTERCOURSE” and then you end up doing the “finger going into hole hand gesture” as he is talking and he’s like ” NO INTERCOURSE” Cause that would literally be the only acceptable scenario for his ardent use of the word intercourse. This was so fucking funny, you beautiful whorey genius.

    • the incurable dreamer

      OMG!! I promise you NONE of that happened. Dying. hahaha. Honestly, I have not heard the word intercourse four times in the last decade. My ears are still ringing and I am randomly lalalala’ing it in my head to make it stop!! DEAR GOD. And I am still trying to process his incessant use of the word. Like, was I wearing too much blush or something?? Anyway, it is never dull around here! Thanks, Tiara! If I made you laugh, I know I did something right!

  5. jono51

    Just so we’re clear on this. No intercourse! While it was a bit over the top you have to assume he had your best interests at heart. I hope.

    • the incurable dreamer

      HAHA! I certainly hope so. Not sure what kind of vibe I was giving off, but he must have felt it was important I got the message, like 4 times!

  6. cathy blahout

    Tanya you never cease to make me laugh…. I love your blog and your wit and humour!

    • cathy blahout

      And I love you…..you are the funniest! D and M are in la la land thinking they are the funniest. pfft!

      • the incurable dreamer

        HAHA! They are totally clueless. And I love you too!! xoxo

    • the incurable dreamer

      Aww, thanks so much Cathy. And thanks so much for reading my silly little blog, it means a heck of a lot to me. 🙂

  7. Kim

    Love your writing, Tanya! This had me in stitches!

    • the incurable dreamer

      Thank you so much, Kim! It means a lot that you enjoy my blog, and that I am able to give you a laugh! ?

  8. Brilliant Tanya, what an hilarious story! So, just to be clear, do you think he was saying you *should* or should *not* have intercourse? I think I’d make another appointment just to ask and watch his head explode ?

    • the incurable dreamer

      Thank you, Caroline! I love your suggestion. His head would totally explode, and he deserves a little tormenting after that fiasco! Ha!

  9. What a scream! Just thinking of the doctor’s insistent words brings to mind a word I’ve not heard in a looooooong time: outercourse. 😀

    • the incurable dreamer

      HAHAHAHA! Both words are so disturbing, and neither of them should be uttered EVER again! Sorry I made you think of outercourse. HA! Thanks so much, Gale! 🙂

  10. I guess I would now be freaking out about what he saw in the lady park? I mean to be so adamant that you post the “entrance is off limits” sign, is made more concerning since he had his head between your legs. Too bad you were so flabbergasted because I suspect now you can think of a witty comebacks, like…
    “Oh I am sorry did I leave a wiener in there, can you yank that out of there for me”
    Or
    “Well apparently I must be doing something right because I don’t even know what intercourse is”
    Or
    “Shit I thought intercourse just meant sex…so I shouldn’t be pleasuring myself with my 2 foot dildo every night?”

    Oh well…there is always next time.

    • the incurable dreamer

      Sarah!!! I wish so badly I would have asked him if he could yank out my wiener! HAHAHA! Amazing! He was so adamant about it and I just don’t understand why. If anything, you would think he would have been encouraging me to use what God gave me, cause it was so dormant! Thanks for the laugh this morning! 🙂

  11. Anonymous

    Omg Tanya you are truly hilarious. I have to say though I am wondering why he was so emphatic about repeating that. What did he see? I’d love to see his face in a month when you tell him. Keep on writing. Your life is so much more interesting than mine. xoxo

    • the incurable dreamer

      HA! Thank you so much, Tina! And I can’t stop thinking about it and am still wondering why he was carrying on like that. I mean, it is probably one of the most preserved ones he has ever seen, not much wear and tear can happen from 4 1/2 minutes….RIGHT? Thanks for reading my blog, it means a lot. And I promise to keep writing. When I am back in town from pet sitting, let’s get a beer! xo

  12. I love the way you write, so funny and honest, and the comments are hysterical, I can’t even begin to compete with the wit. At my older age, I would have been very sarcastic with the doc. “Rats, I had a threesome set up for this afternoon with my GIRLFRIENDS and a basket of cucumbers.” That’s part of the joy of being on the high side of middle age – being outrageously frank and not caring a bit. Celebrate who you are, Tanya. 😀 Oh, and “pork and beans?” I nearly spit out my coffee. That’s a new one. I’m going to use that with the hubby. 😀

    • the incurable dreamer

      Oh, you didn’t just compete, you brought down the hammer! You almost made me choke when I read a basket of cucumbers!! SO FUNNY!!!! And thank you, I am celebrating because I am beyond blessed, and I love this life. Your supportive and encouraging comments always make my day, so thank you for taking the time to leave another one. Hope you are enjoying your day and weekend! xo

  13. hehehehehehe aaaaannnnnddddd he. I know this is more about the “she” but I thought this would be a good time to give a shout out for all the poor pork ‘n beaners out there 😉 “Sally and her homemade pie.” Friggin hilarious, sure. But poor Carl, right?

    Seriously though, Tanya. I know its not the same thing, but I think I might be able to sympathize a little bit with the almost unconscious tendency to avoid an awkward confrontation with strangers, especially when they’ve been all up in our business. I’m not ashamed of the fact the Eddie sometimes takes control over my mind and forces me to hide in my cave until I’m able to people again, but those conversations that start with “so you retired as a surgeon soooo young! What happened?” never end well.

    And while my depression/anxiety/PTSD is a disease, I’m certainly not implying that your choice to choose quality time with Sally over Carl is anything but that. A delicious choice.

    But thats what i was thinking, as I read this post. BTW, only had to stop twice to laugh this time, so I think I’m getting in better shape – it’s like my Tanya workout for the soul (and Kegel muscles).

    Jamba!

    • the incurable dreamer

      GABE!! hahahaha. Thank you for sticking up for all the pork ‘n beaners out there, I know Carl is just an innocent bystander in this whole mess and doesn’t deserve it. He just wanted some damn lunch!

      And the comparison is absolutely the same; I agree 100%. Our tendency is to hide parts of ourselves from people to avoid conflict or making someone feel uncomfortable. And that is totally not okay. At all. Eddie is a part of you and he is what makes you so unique and such a source of light in this world, and if someone is uncomfortable hearing you talk about him, then they can go suck eggs. That is my opinion. Eddie changed things, altered the course of your life, but to me, he took you on a most magical trip. And where you have ended up is the place you are meant to be. I want to punch Eddie in the face, but I would also like to give him a quick high five because without him I wouldn’t know you. Thank goodness I do. And if people don’t like the fact that I prefer pie, well, then they are missing out cause I’m not so bad.

      I just love ya, Gabe. You make me so unbelievably happy, and I am so blessed to know you.

      Jamba prietene mea! (The GREATEST SAYING OF ALL TIME!)

      • Normally, I would think about hooking Carl up with Eddie, so he wouldn’t;t have to eat lunch by himself, but I would never do that to someone else.

        Regardless, you’re right. We are who we are for the better, despite the worst.

        And I love ya too Tanya, but I have to ask you the it easy on me- my cheeks are sore, my allergies are actin up, and ALL my whining muscles are sore (I know its you that recently recovering from surgery, but still…)

  14. Tanya, I needed this laugh after round 1 of today’s interminable time with my folks, so thank you! Oh, and…no intercourse, ok?

    • the incurable dreamer

      I will try to lay off the intercourse, but I can’t promise anything. ??‍♀️ Glad I was able to maybe bring a smile to your face today, Paul. You are almost at the finish line and I am counting down with you. You got this! I am standing by for your email – I got you!

  15. Hilarious! At least he didn’t use the word “coitus”. That’s even worse! IMHO, who you choose to tell about your preferences is your own personal business. I don’t think you should feel disappointed in yourself either way. BTW, I hear Sally makes a killer apple pie. And 4 1/2 minutes? That sounds like a successful Friday night in my house. 🙂

    • the incurable dreamer

      Oh man, if he said that word it would have been THE WORST. Coitus, quite frankly, is an abomination and should be banned from the English language and punishable by death if ever uttered. It gives me the heebie jeebies and is wrong on so many levels. GROSS!!! And thanks, Ari, it really is nobody’s business and should be a non-issue. It’s not like my other friends announce to me that they are heterosexuals. I could care less! And I wish more people would care less if people are gay. Like people are starving and dying all over the place, who gives a shit if I prefer Sally and her pie! Hope this past Friday night was a good one for you! hahaha.

  16. I have so many questions. First, I need to know why a whore would be in a paper bag? Now, I’m looking for just actual lunch over lunch, so for me, I too would have to choose Sally and her pie. After all………..PIE! 🙂

    Seriously, this makes me think about some Brene’ Brown stuff about how joyful people set and holding boundaries (I’ve been in a BB bubble recently since her new book comes out in Sept.and I’m getting excited). How many times do we wish we’d have spoken our truth? I love how you made this point with such humor! 🙂

    • *set and hold boundaries.

    • the incurable dreamer

      Katie – I read this comment on my way into work today, and it made me smile so huge! Umm, why would a whore be in a bag? You ask such simple but yet challenging questions. And if we are talking strictly lunch, and no funny business, I am still team Sally. IT’S PIE!!!

      Brene’ Brown is so incredible, and I love her so much and can’t wait to read her new book. And it is pretty clear I need to brush up on the whole set and hold boundaries thing. We all need to speak our truth. An authentic life is a good life. Right?! Thanks for reading and commenting Katie, you totally made my day!

  17. Every bit of bravery by one matters to all:).

  18. Di

    Oh Tanya, I was cringing from the beginning of this ordeal of yours!
    What a horrid position to have to endure at the very least, let alone enduring a repeated ‘lecture’ on your abstinence! I think you got it by now!
    The comments and your replies are as entertaining as the way you write and your humour…priceless.
    I hope you enjoy getting back to some light exercise, the kind you are allowed. As for Sally or Carl….not worth me mentioning! I love your conclusion and quote image, that’s all…but I’ll read your linked post.
    Hugs to you, special friend ???

    • the incurable dreamer

      Di, it was unbelievable!! The whole time I just kept thinking, what is going on?? It would be nice if instead of making assumptions people would ask more questions. Like if he thought I was doing that I would have preferred it if he had just come right out and asked me! AHHH! Oh well, it made for a funny story, and another lesson was learned. Honesty is a very powerful thing. And thank you so much for gutting this one out, I know it was a little cringeworthy! Your presence and support mean the world, please know that. xoxo

      • Di

        Hello dear Tanya,
        I understand your vulnerability at lying there like that and only wanting to deal with one thing at a time…
        You shouldn’t feel that you have to justify yourself to anyone.
        We all love you for your warmth, humour, friendship and kindness and that’s ALL that should ever matter…

        Thank you for your wonderful words here and until that coffee in real life, see you soon in another post my friend! ????

        • the incurable dreamer

          These words will stick with me, Di. Thank you, so very much! ❤️

          • Di

            I’m so glad Tanya. I do hope they will as I mean them ??

  19. Hi! You are awesome. We should totally be friends, but in an imaginary internet way, ’cause people TOTALLY freak me out.

    P.S.
    I like girls too. And guys, but only sometimes, and then I always end up marrying them.

    • the incurable dreamer

      Deal. Nice to meet you imaginary internet friend! You have no idea how happy this makes me.

      P.S. Despite stereotypes, guys really are way better with power tools. You made the right choice.

  20. Your bottom line (no pun intended) message is one we all need to embrace. I am in search of a new dr right now and knowing I am going to lead with ‘Hello, I have OCD and I need to know that you get that’ is downright nerve wracking.

    that being said…..

    This post made me laugh right out loud and not that bullshit…LOL stuff either. Like real out loud belly laughs complete with a snort that scared my sweet pup Vivi.

    I shared this in my Posts of Note today. <3

    • the incurable dreamer

      Oh, Nikki, you are an absolute doll, and I can’t thank you enough for sharing my post on your fabulous blog! Thank you so much, it means a whole ton that you did that!

      You know, when I wrote this I wondered if people would think it was funny or if they would just think I had lost my mind – I am so glad you saw the humour in it as I did. And please apologize to dear Vivi for me!! But more importantly, thank you for recognizing the message I was trying to convey. It is certainly one we all need to embrace, especially in these very divisive times. When you see your new doctor for the first time, you roll in there like a total boss, and you own the OCD!!! You can do it! Thanks again, Nikki! xoxo

  21. Di

    I do hope so Tanya.
    Thank you for letting me know…?

  22. Lucky Sally! 🙂 🙂 Life is what it is, but you don’t necessarily want to shout it from the rooftops.

    • the incurable dreamer

      Ha! So true, Jo. And thank you, so much! ?

  23. LOL. You poor thing. He sounds like an overzealous, conscientious dr, actually. And I usually am not much sympathetic to MDs. Stay safe! *tease*

    Xxxxxx
    D.

    • the incurable dreamer

      HA! I will, Diana! And you are right, suppose he was just making sure I didn’t put myself at risk by, well…you know! Haha. xo

  24. Oh my goodness I feel you!! Although it’s my Psychiatrist who thinks I’m some big old whorey whore because EVERY TIME I see him he wangs on about how if I’m trying to get pregnant I MUST TELL HIM LIKE IMMEDIATELY ZOMG or my baby will be born with three heads and the mental capacity of a mango, or something.

    Love this blog, thanks to DGGYST for introducing me!
    LongTallAlly
    http://www.longtallally.com

    • the incurable dreamer

      Oh man, I LOVE YOU ALREADY!! Hahaha. What is with these doctors, anyway? I am going to check out your blog, and I am so excited to do so, but it will have to wait until tomorrow. I have been nursing a hangover all day and it is time to sleep! WHY DID I HAVE ANOTHER BEER?? ? Thanks so much for reading and commenting! That Damn Girl is pretty awesome isn’t she?! Talk soon!

      • Most of my BFFs are Docs and even THEY don’t want to know about any P in V action I may or may not be getting. Maybe my Psych is just a perve?

        Flat lemonade is my best tip for hangovers. That or just drinking for a second day. Can’t get a hangover if you drink through the first one!

  25. Hi Tanya, finally I’ve got around to reading this post, which fully caught my eye when I came across it in IG last week. I knew I was in for a laugh and a good story, you write so brilliantly. But really WTF, that Dr needs his head read! Makes me wonder what he was thinking. You go girl, embrace who you are and always be proud of yourself. You’re warm, funny, refreshingly honest and I’m proud to know you ?

    • the incurable dreamer

      Hi, Miriam. It is so good to hear from you! I have been following along on your journey and am absolutely over the moon that you guys have been enjoying such an extraordinary adventure! And how happy am I that you found my post to read and then left me such a wonderfully hilarious and heartfelt comment. That DR does need to get his head read!! hahaha. There are people in this world who you just know in an instant are the kindest of souls, and you, Miriam, are one of those people. And I am so proud to know you as well. Thank you for this, and for everything. xoxo

  26. This is such a great post! You were able to perfectly mix humor with a serious, important topic. Very talented writing. I think you would’ve knocked that doctor on his toes if you had told him the truth, because it sounds like he has a lot of preconceived assumptions in his mind. He definitely should start being more mindful before making assumptions about people.

    Just the other day I overheard a conversation between my supervisor at the Children’s Hospital (where I volunteer weekly) and another volunteer. My supervisor saw an engagement ring on the volunteer’s finger and, when she learned that the volunteer was soon to be married, she asked if HE was also into volunteering. The volunteer immediately corrected her that it is a SHE. The supervisor seemed very embarrassed. It just goes to show that you can’t make assumptions!! We live in such a heteronormative society (at least, I can speak for the United States), and that way of thinking needs to be altered.

    Loved this post! Thanks for sharing about your experience.

    • the incurable dreamer

      Thank you so much, for your incredible comment. I am elated that you appreciated the message I was trying to get across – I felt it was a rather important one. In this day and age, it just doesn’t make sense to assume anything about anyone. The fact that my surgeon was so adamant about not doing it told me that he had no awareness, whatsoever. He will be in for a big shock when I see him next time! ha.

      It was probably a hard way for your Supervisor to learn a lesson, but now she knows to ask first next time. Here in Canada, things are shifting, and people are coming out as trans and non-binary, etc. so everyone’s way of thinking definitely needs to change. The amount of progress that has already been made, though, is pretty astounding. Hopefully, things keep moving forward in a positive direction and people adjust their thinking.

      Again, thanks so much for leaving me such an amazing comment. It means a whole lot! xo

  27. Amazing! Absolutely right… Love is love! It’s your life so live it the way you want to. Great post 🙂

    • the incurable dreamer

      Aww, thank you SO much! I love that you appreciate my message. Love IS love, and we all just need to live as honestly as possible, so we can be our happiest selves!!

      Looking forward to checking out your blog!! ?

      Thanks so much, Walt!

  28. HILARIOUS. Loved it.

  29. As ever, you are brilliant! You make me laugh out loud and bring tears to my eyes at once. The more I read, the more I adore you!

    • the incurable dreamer

      Thank you for being so supportive and encouraging. If my words mean something to you, I consider that an incredible honour!

      • With your writing, you give me, and everyone who has the good fortune to discover your work, the amazing gifts of laughter and honesty. I have been sharing your stuff like mad and when I saw one of my close friends the other day, she instantly started talking about you and how great your blog is; she is going through some challenging stuff right now and by making her laugh, you brought light into her life – This is what you do for people Tanya and you do it with grace, beauty and courage.

        • the incurable dreamer

          Aww, Susan, you are truly a kind beautiful soul. Thank you! I am sorry to hear that your friend is going through a difficult time right now, I hope she will be ok. It warms my heart to know that I was able to make her laugh. Actually, it means everything.

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